Individual Psychotherapy:

There is a path. Your Path. You know you have something to offer the world  but may have a hard time believing in yourself, or hearing your own voice loudly and clearly enough. You may suffer from harsh self criticism, lack of confidence, inexplicable depression or anxiety, or relational loneliness. I encourage you to take seriously your desire to make changes in your life. This is an important longing  which can lead you to creating the life you have imagined.  It is often a relief to put these thoughts into words in a place where it will be taken seriously. Together we can make sense  of what is going on. I am able to help you discover the source of your complaint as well as effective ways of addressing it.

Many of the people I work with are professionals who work hard and are living the life they set out to create. At least on the outside.  Inside, self-criticism, relationship conflicts, exhaustion, and dissatisfaction are present all too frequently. I help you to get to the root of your repetitive problems so that your life feels more whole. 

I work especially well with parents, engineers and technology professionals and artists.


Contemporary Psychoanalysis:

I am a contemporary psychoanalyst. What that means is that I work in a relational style that is collaborative and alive. Psychoanalysis is conducted on the couch or face-to-face at a frequency of 2-5x/week. It is very helpful in healing long-standing, persistent problems. It also serves to unearth hidden potential and creativity. When your emotional issues are resolved, your psychic energy is available to live a fuller life.

Have you ever wished that someone could really see you and help you to heal? The increased frequency of sessions allows for a detailed, intimate look at what has been troubling you. Deeper needs, deprivations and sorrows get the time and attention they need to heal. Lying on the couch is often very helpful because it allows you to focus internally, on your own thoughts and feelings, away from the social customs of face-to-face interactions.

​Many of the individuals I work with have experienced childhood trauma. Your past traumas may interfere with emotional regulation, self expression and personal relationships. You may find yourself vacillating between having no feelings or being overwhelmed by feelings. I help you move beyond these constraints to gain more understanding and control. I am trained to see what is under  the surface; this helps you to see things in a new way. Psychoanalysis  relies on the unconscious (dreams, wordless, somatic experiences) and the patient-analyst relationship to heal. It is an emotionally safe and rich environment in which to re-integrate the dissociated, shameful and unknown treasures of your psyche.

Psychoanalysis is helpful for treating long-standing issues, resulting from emotional trauma, that have been hard to treat fully with other methods. It is also suitable for accessing your creativity and vitality more reliably.
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COUPLE THERAPY: 

​I know it takes effort to get you and your partner to couple therapy. When things are bad, you are certain you'll make the call. But the next day things are better and you think you can get away without it. If you are repeatedly frustrated by your interactions, and feel lonely, confused,  and frustrated, now is a good time to call. I have heard countless couples say they wish they had started couples therapy earlier. They had hoped they would outgrow the problems in their relationship or learn not to be so hurt by them. But the problems lingered, and led to emotional distance and simmering frustration. 

I commonly work with communication problems, loss of connection, bridging differences, managing strong feelings, sexuality issues and issues of responsibility.

To have a partner to be with and share a life with is a gift. It is a blessing. It can also be a confusing array of conscious and unconscious feelings, hopes, expectations and dreams. Disappointment, isolation, resentment and discouraging fights often bring couples into therapy. The hope you once had for your relationship has decreased, and you wonder if there is a way back. I encourage couples to come to therapy as soon as they become aware of these growing feelings. This allows you to strengthen your ability to comunicate and repair before the patterns become more ingrained and hurtful. 

I especially like working with couples because of the opportunity for personal growth and healing. When a couple arrives at my office, I know that their difficulties are immediate and that they are ready to work.  There are real, external problems facing most couples these days, but the internal obstacles are the most fraught. I am able to decipher the subtle roadblocks to productive communication and have a natural ability to see both sides of the issues. I work to create an emotionally safe environment for both members of the couple so that you can increase your self-understanding and empathy for your partner.

Intimate relationships face challenges that other relationships do not. Because of the nature of attachment and neurobiology, both of which have been scientifically studied, we are more emotionally and physiologically vulnerable in our intimate relationships. The depth of the connection we develop evokes in us the complexities of our early attachments, often triggering emotional responses that are painful or confusing. This can lead to repetitive and discouraging interactions.

Through communication exercises and exploration, you will learn what is most meaningful to you, how to communicate that, how to ask for it, how to create an environment where you are most likely to get it, and how to deal with your disappointment and frustration when your partner fails you. Creating a successful relationship requires emotional maturity. 

I have receive specialized training at:

The Psychoanalytic Couples Psychotherapy Group in Berkeley
The John Gottman Institute in Seattle, 
The Couples Institute in Menlo Park,
The Institue for Relational Intimacy.

John Gottman's work is based on many years of research into what creates satisfying long-term relationships. In particular, I am certified in the "Bringing Baby Home" training to work with couples who are pregnant or raising young children. Since research shows that this may be the most challenging time in a couple's relationship, education, support and therapy can be extremely helpful. 

I work with couples at all stages of their relationship such as pre-marital, married, co-habitating, remarriage and long marriages. I work with gay, lesbian and heterosexual couples, as well as families raising children in alternative and traditional configurations.

PERINATAL CONCERNS:

​Wanting or having a baby can be wonderful, frustrating and complicated. If you are grappling with the isolation and grief of infertility, pregnancy loss, birth defects, postpartum depression or increasing couple conflict, my expertise is very helpful. Therapy with me provides the privacy and understanding to process the many intense and difficult feelings that accompany these experiences.

Infertility, pregnancy loss or birth defects challenge our profound hopes and dreams of creating the family we envisioned. It may seem almost impossible to understand, grasp or accept this reality. I approach these issues with deep compassion, emotional inquiry and pragmatic decision-making about where to go from here.

Postpartum depression can be mild or debilitating. It ranges from having the blues for longer than usual to bouts of anxiety, sleeplessness, obsession with the baby's health or the need to have everything under control. Depression can interfere with bonding with the baby and enjoying these early, transitional months.

I am certified in John Gottman's "Bringing Baby Home" training to work with couples who are pregnant or raising young children. Since research shows that this may be the most challenging time in a couple's relationship, education, support and therapy can be extremely helpful. The birth of a baby can be a particularly stressful time in the life of a couple. There is so much to be discussed and figured out, while under the strain of sleep deprivation and interrupted conversations.

​I am committed to giving couples the support they need during this transition. A strong couple relationship provides a strong emotional home for your baby. ​

PARENTING:

​Parenting requires so much of you: physical stamina, guesswork, flexibility and organizational skills. But mostly it requires a deep emotional commitment to your baby, to yourself, to your new family, to your partner. It requires an emotionally attuned devotion to a new being, This is hard work because it evokes emotional experiences from your past and deep hopes for your future. Your heart and mind are so open that things can feel raw, overwhelming, joyful, frightening and disappointing. It might not be what you expected. You might not be who you expected. 

It is a good time to be in therapy because you can use the fact that strong feelings are emerging in you to integrate past experiences, allowing you to be come a bigger person. What kind of mother did you have? What kind of mother do you hope to be? What gets in your way of becoming that? How are you at facing new challenges? Does perfectionism eat away at you? What kind of partner do you have? What do you expect of him or her? What happens when you do not receive what you want? What if you have a challenging child? What if you have feelings that are unloving or distant, cold or lonely?

The myriad experiences of motherhood are fertile ground for individual and relational growth. It can be hard to make sense of the unexpected feelings of motherhood. But there is no better time to get in touch with your inner self to become the person you have wanted to become. 

Give me a call to talk about Postpartum Depression or Anxiety, difficulties with feeling bonded to your baby, problems communicating with your partner, and other difficulties. 

TECHNOLOGY PROFESSIONALS:

I have expertise and ample experience working with high tech professionals and engineers. In a fast-paced environment that privileges logic and order, one's emotional life gets less attention and time to develop. This can show up as a difficulty in your personal relationships, or in vague confusion about how to interact with colleagues, and managers. 

I have the patience and skill to help you learn to recognize and name your emotions. This helps you to make better decisions and to form lasting, dependable relationships. It takes time, patience and awareness to switch from quick, logical time to the slower pace of emotions. First, we will identify your natural way of thinking and relating.  From there, I will help you to broaden your repertoire to include the less logical and less ordered emotions. 

Emotions are the currency of inner life. They help you to understand yourself, your values, and your priorities. The capacity to know and understand your feelings helps you to develop confidence and direction in life. 

Emotions are also the language of love. They are primary in initiating and sustaining personal relationships. When you don't understand your emotions, they operate underground and are running the show without you being aware of it. You may be a star at work, but unable to feel connected to others in your personal life.

If this sounds like you, given me a call. Let's get started!

ARTISTS:

The Artist's Life is a particular one. Your internal motivation to express your unique vision is a guiding force. 

​I work with artists who are living their everyday lives in the midst of a desire for more time and space for their creativity. There may be a need to integrate family life, or financial concerns with defining a place for one's own creative self. These concerns bump up against your internal relationship patterns, aspirations, limitations and self-doubt. If these are things you are knocking around in your mind, call me and we can talk.



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